Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that
mean they take
water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also
made of grain.
Grain good too. Bottom up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have
two body, your
ratio two to one.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
program?
A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be
bad?
Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing
sit-up if you want
bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food
around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!
Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about
food and diets.
And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in an attractive
and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand
- chocolate in
the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO,
what a ride!!"
AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and
health. It's a
relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than
Brits.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than
Brits.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer
fewer heart
attacks than Brits.
CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.